It's been so long, so many things have happened and I have so much on my mind. The thing is, I've been avoiding doing this. Not because I don't have time, sure I don't but I still sometimes sit around doing nothing while I could be writing here. I was avoiding it because there's so much to say, so many plans. In a way I was scared it won't be interesting. Then I stopped looking at blogs all together because by looking at them I realised time doesn't stop. Especially all over the world where something exciting and different is happening in people's lives. It is a threat to me. Somehow by stopping following blogs I stopped all these wonderful people from doing these exciting things I want to do. All in my head of course. Then my twentieth is approaching and that makes it an even bigger threat. Everytime I read someone's blog I look at his/her age and I realise they have done so much more than me. Then I go to college and when I don't know anything I realise I have to put my life on stop and study because I want to know it. I can't however do it all. I wish I never had to sleep. EVER. I could do it for a while, but I still have a lot of hours when I feel tired and I can't manage to do anything productive. As I am writing this I realise would love to put it all in and look at everyone's blog and read them, I realise I am in the mood for doing stuff and I really have to take advantage of it as I have 2 essays due next week and I am terrible with essays.
I organised my time on Monday, and now I need this blog and to follow others in order to survive and feel like I have a place in the world, so I will put an hour everyday dedicated to blog following/writing.
to be continued...
